Overtime I have been able to gather that the love we use to refer to is no more practicable in real sense of the word; the word love has tremendously evolved to something simpler and lighter. On that note I have specifically refer to love as the willingness to continuously engage in sex with someone for divers benefits.
People doubt the possibility to love more than one person at a time but the truth is that it is realistic and practicable to do so. Persons who have more than one lover do that not necessarily because they do not have love for their partners but because they do it for some benefits which might range from emotional, spiritual to financial and which also means they do it out of love for another person aside their partner as someone also to fall back on when the need arises.
This will lead us to the 4 things that cause people to have more lovers.
1. Suspended Relationships
A vast majority of persons never got married as virgins, this is a fact and an indisputable one for that matter. Premarital sex is common in our societies today despite the very subtle religious opposition to such practices. The only legitimate restriction, so to speak, is the expectation that all who engage in sex must be of adult age, that is, 18 years and above.
On a broader scale, most persons could have multiple relationships at a go or on a cumulative basis which means there may be possibility to have at least 5 relationships prior to marriage depending on the kind of society or culture. It also may occur that these previous relationships were not cancelled but rather suspended due to various reasons. These reasons might be due to loss of interest at the time, it might be change of job or school, it might be change of location, it might also be pressure from parents or friends. All these put together with other factors not mentioned could lead to the suspension of a relationship but not cancellation; these suspended and open relationships are thereafter ready-made channels of re-adventures.
2. Social Media
In a post: ‘how to know if your partner may be unfaithful’ I touched on the big influence of social media in relationships but mostly negatively. We are now in a world where distances has virtually been reduced to just few seconds, a world where information are disseminated at the speed of light.
Most importantly is the fact that anyone can start a relationship from wherever or right in the comfort of his or her home. These possibilities has made it easily possible to find a mate, strengthen such relationships, arrange discreetly for outings and eventually engage in sex activities. Having ready access to social media apps and understanding how personalised it is for use has created a lot of options for persons who have the urge to explore for more lovers.
3. Marriage of Necessity
At certain age especially in the African, Asian, Arabian and South American societies, men and women are expected to be married with so much cultural importance attached to the need to be married. Where a man or a woman has attained certain age and has yet to marry, tongues begin to wag, questions will then asked, while speculations will become big and maybe harmful; it is likened to a serious cultural failure that requires urgent attention.
The societal pressure to conform or satisfy cultural requirements has led to many marriages being consummated without the required essentials for a formidable and sustainable marriage. Persons herded into such marriages, sooner or later find out that there is no enduring compatibility between them couples. It is therefore further complicated where divorce is seriously frown out in such culture or society; these bottle necks only create avenues for persons to explore the possibilities of having additional lover(s).
4. Dominant Partner
In every relationship there is always the partner who dominates in some aspects of the union; dominance could be in terms of financial stand, sexual activeness, emotional strength, social status, physical beauty, religious recognition and many more. Those dominance that are of concern are financial stand, sexual activeness, physical beauty and social status.
Partners who dominates via financial stand, sexual activeness, religious recognition, physical beauty and social status tends to take advantage of these to engage in extra marital activities. Financial stand would cause one to have the resources to seek for more lovers because such partner has extra monies to spend on frivolities. Those sexually active of course would go the extra mile to ensure their insatiable sexual needs are met especially where such needs cannot be completely satisfied by the current partner.
The partner with a higher social status has the connections and time to mingle in the course of his or her involvement in social functions. It is an everyday news that divers ‘men of God’ all over do take advantage of their positions to prey on their members, which is most disgusting. Pretty ladies and handsome men are always in the eye of the storm when it comes to wadding off extra marital advances from the opposite sex and sometimes they fall for the temptation or just take advantage of their exceptional qualities to engage in random intercourse activities aside of their partners.